A year later

It's been over a year since we landed in Abu Dhabi...and almost a year since we left. It's hard to believe that we were there...and even harder to believe that we only stayed 4 months.

I think about it all the time. There are things that I miss...such as the amazing malls, the great customer service, seeing camels in the back of trucks on the road, and definitely the money I made! But there are things that I don't miss...like having CRAZY students run all over the place and not listen to me, the crazy drivers, and the heat. It was a great cultural experience overall.

The bottom line is that it was not a good fit for our family. I know plenty of people who have stayed over there and love it...they may stay for 10 years. However, most of those people are single with no kids. Every time there is a holiday break, they hop on a plane to an exotic location. In my rose colored glasses, that's what I envisioned for our family. But when you have 2 young kids, traveling is pretty difficult. Our apartment was like a concrete prison. And then there was the fear that my principal was going to have me sent home and we'd be stuck. So we took matters into our own hands, hopped on a plane at Christmas time, and never looked back.

It's been a difficult transition, but God has been faithful. I don't ever want to think of it as a mistake.

thoughts on the murder of Ibolya Ryan

It's been almost a week since an American teacher was brutally stabbed to death in a bathroom in a mall in Abu Dhabi. I'm not going to lie...it has really hit me hard. No, I didn't know Ibolya Ryan...but I was originally assigned to live in the place she lived. I have blonde hair like her. I very easily could have been in her place. And even though I'm thankful I wasn't, I also wonder what I would have done if I had been there. Because she wasn't alone. There were other people in that bathroom with her. And as far as I know, no one helped her. I have watched the video footage over and over and what I saw was a bunch of women fleeing from the scene. So she bled to death in a public bathroom.

I know that none of us can say what we would do in a situation like that. But I keep thinking, the murderer didn't have a gun, she had a knife. Granted, it was a huge butcher knife...but how easy would it have been to kick it out of her hand? Or to at least trip her on the way out the door. I mean, she left the knife on the floor in the bathroom so it's not like she was running around trying to stab other people.

It breaks my heart that she has three children...two of whom were probably sitting upstairs in the apartment watching TV or playing video games waiting for their mother. And she didn't come back.

She didn't come back.

The UAE uses Sharia Law. The sad thing is, I live here, and I don't even really know what that means. Someone explained it to me one time like this: if the mother dies, the father or the closest male relative gets custody. So if something happens to me, my husband will get the kids. But if something happens to both of us, the UAE government will take our kids until the closest male relative can come here and get them.

Ibolya Ryan was divorced and didn't have the father of the children living here.

I saw the interview they did with her ex-husband and it was so unemotional. Maybe he's just a stronger person than I am, but I feel like I've had a harder time with it than he has.

Today was my first day back at school since we've been on break. I teach third grade girls and I wondered if they had heard about it or maybe their parents shelter them from the news. It didn't take long to get my answer. Within a few minutes of class, I heard "American" "hair like you" "bathroom" "knife" and saw lots of hand motions of stabbing and throat slitting. It was disturbing, especially because some of what they said was in Arabic so I didn't know if they were saying they were worried it was me or if it was like they had seen a movie and it was kind of thrilling.

For the rest of the day, I felt like my Arabic coworkers were looking at me differently. "Hey lady, you should die your hair dark." "Why don't you wear an abaya?" "I bet you hope it's not a terrorist attack." "Why are you here? You should probably go back to your country."

No, no one said those things to me...it's just what my mind was telling me.

I was impressed with the way the Abu Dhabi police handled the situation...well, other than the creepy horror movie music playing in the background of the video. But just the fact that there was a video released so quickly and they were able to locate this woman who was covered from head to toe in black is impressive. It's also already been called a terror attack. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Obama still hasn't called the Fort Hood massacre or the beheading in Oklahoma terror attacks.

So now the question we all have is this: will it happen again? We all hope not...but if it does, I am sure the UAE government will act swiftly and justice will be served.

Spirit of the Union

Today (December 2), the United Arab Emirates celebrated National Day, which is the day that they became a country. This country is only 43 years old, which makes it quite impressive that cities like Dubai and Abu Dhabi are some of the wealthiest and most modern cities in the world. Prior to 1971, this area was literally all desert sand dunes, camels, and tents. The people were basically nomads. Now, many of the people are wealthy and the country holds many world records for the biggest/tallest/fastest this or that.

I love the 4th of July, but let me tell you...Independence Day has nothing on National Day. Emiratis have so much national pride. Flag Day was actually in November and I have never seen flags so huge! Pretty much every house (mansion) had at least one flag on top and many had flags that covered from the roof to the ground of a two or three story home. These flags stayed up through the National Day festivities. There were lights on all the trees in the medians. Burger King and even Starbucks sold "43rd National Day" special edition glasses.

At my school, we started celebrating National Day two weeks ago! Each morning, different classes would do some sort of tribute to the UAE during the assembly. Students started dressing up in really awesome outfits. For girls, it might be a beautiful kandora, a fancy dress, or a custom made outfit in UAE colors. A lot of the boys wore military uniforms or their kandoras (usually they wear the required uniform of navy pants and light blue shirts). It was really great!

Highlights and lowlights of a weekend in Dubai

My husband's birthday was over the weekend, so several weeks ago I made reservations to go to the top of the tallest building in the world, the Burj Khalifa. (Well, not really the top, but the 124th floor.) I'd been told that it fills up quickly, and it's true. I wanted to make sure that we could go while my mom was here, so I went ahead and booked it...not thinking about the fact that my husband was having surgery. So, less than a week after he went under the knife, he rode in the car for an extended period of time, walked more than he had all week, and then rode in the elevator to the top. Afterwards, we made our way to a toy store with our son so we could get his birthday present. It was all a little too much too soon. Although hubby wanted to have his birthday dinner at Texas Roadhouse, his body was worn out and we headed home.

So, about the Burj Khalifa: it was awesome! Our appointment was at 3 and it was a perfect day for it. The sky was clear and we could see for miles. There is actually another tour that goes up 20 more floors, but it's significantly more expensive. I would highly recommend going though. One complaint: at the top there are lots of professional photographers who would love to take your picture...but the pictures are ridiculously expensive! So disappointing.
We also had a bit of a scare when my mom went to get her bag from the coat check guy. They couldn't find her bag...and it had her passport in it! After about 15 minutes they were able to locate it, thank God.

Yesterday, hubby was feeling like he needed to recover a bit from all the walking the day before, so he gave us his blessing to go back to Dubai because I wanted to take my mom to the souks and hubby has no desire to do that. I gave my four (almost five) year old the option of staying home with daddy, but he insisted on going. We piled in the car and headed to the big city. Since I've never been to these souks before, I wasn't sure where to go. I entered "Bur Dubai" in the GPS and thought she would take us where we needed to go. Well of course she didn't...we ended up at the Burj al Arab. Then I remembered a coworker telling me we could park by the Dubai Museum and take a boat over to the souks. I put my new destination in the GPS, but got sidetracked by a sandwich shop that I love at home (Which Wich) which I had seen just off the highway the last time we were in this area. We stopped for lunch and then got on our way again. Well wouldn't you know, traffic got bad and my stomach started hurting so badly. This is TMI, but it hurt so much I didn't think I was going to  make it to a bathroom. (It's not like America where there is a McDonald's or gas station on every corner and you can just run in really quickly.) Finally, I found the Dubai Museum and parked the car on the curb so I could run inside! Thank God the security guard was sweet and let me run in without paying.

I was so happy that I'd made it to the restroom in time and I asked a man if there were any other parking lots as this one was full, and he told me he'd move his car so I could park. As I went to get the kids out of the car I mentioned that we needed to find the boats and my son starts freaking out. He's crying "I don't want to ride the boats" over and over. I told him that he needed to at least see the boats before he could refuse to ride one. So we go find these boats and as soon as he sees them, he resumes his tantrum. He was so hysterical and I was so embarrassed. You could literally see the other side and it would take only a few minutes to cross...but he wasn't having it. I threatened him with everything I could think of: taking away his new Transformers, the iPad, Legos...even not going to Kidzania for his birthday. He wouldn't budge.

Truth be told: these boats looked dilapidated and like they could sink at any moment. But I wasn't going to admit that to him.

We made our way back to the car and I figured I would attempt to drive through the tunnel to the other side and find parking closer to the souks. Once again, traffic was really bad. The streets were crowded and the buildings were run down...and I had no idea where to go. I did find a parking deck, but after waiting in the line to enter it for over 10 minutes and not moving an inch, I gave up. I was crying because I was so upset that my son ruined my plans. I decided that I would go ahead and try to go to the other place I wanted to visit that day: Dragon Mart.

Several of my coworkers told me about this place and warned me that it's huge and busy and overwhelming. I finally found it and managed to find a parking space by the section labeled "Garments". Unfortunately, we had wasted so much time earlier in the day that I decided we would only stay a few minutes. I found a cute dress for my daughter for 15 dirhams (about $4) and matching mommy and me shoes (about $33 for both pairs). We also passed by a lady who was selling those splat balls (for lack of a better description) and of course my son wanted one. Well grandma told him since he didn't ride the boat, he couldn't have one.

Meltdown #2 commenced. I'm talking all out throwing himself on the floor, kicking, crying...I dragged him, spanked him, and then gave up and walked off. I was so embarrassed! And you know what happened? The lady gave him a splat ball. I was so pissed. I wanted to take it and throw it away. But I didn't.

I did not let him play with the iPad on the way home.We had a long discussion about the events of the day. At one point as we rode in silence, he said "mommy, I'm sorry I ruined your day."

And I realized that it's not the end of the world. I said so many times that day "this was a total waste", but I shouldn't ever feel like it's a waste. We are alive and blessed and we spent time together, even if it was mostly in the car.

Suck it up

The other day my husband had surgery (!) to repair a hernia. My mom stayed home with our kids and I stayed at the hospital with him all day. A few things were great: a legit Starbucks in the lobby, free wifi, and a good book to read. However, I had a very interesting experience as well.

Waiting rooms here are separated by males and females. At this hospital, they were right beside each other and just separated by a partition. So, I sat waiting on the female side.

There was a big rug on the floor and a tray with tea/coffee urns and cups, a bowl of dates, and a bowl of water.

I sat on a chair engrossed in my book ("What Alice Forgot" if you're wondering) as a local woman sat on the rug. Suddenly I heard snapping fingers and some words I didn't understand and I looked over at her. She was motioning at the tray and I assumed asking me if I wanted some. I read somewhere before I came here that it's a really big deal to oblige and partake in whatever is offered to you. Well first let me say this:

I HATE COFFEE

So I got up and walked over to the woman and she poured me a cup of coffee and another of tea. I smiled and said thank you (in Arabic!) and went back to my seat. I sipped the tea (which is actually quite good but smells funny) and then drank the coffee like a shot of vodka. Thank GOD that cup was tiny. Their coffee is super strong and I felt buzzed almost immediately. Luckily I had a tiny bit more tea to wash it down with.

Anyhoo, I felt proud of myself for overcoming the challenge and I stuck my nose back in my book.

Well about 20 minutes later, another local woman came and sat on the rug. A man came over and brought them a big rectangular plate with something on it that did NOT look appetizing. Suddenly I heard the snapping and Arabic words again. I looked over and they were motioning for me to come. They showed me the plate and obviously wanted me to eat. I didn't see any utensils so I wasn't sure if I was supposed to stick my fingers in it or what. I motioned like I was eating with a spoon and they motioned over to the other waiting room...so I got up and went over there and somehow the men figured out what I wanted and handed me a bunch of spoons.

I reluctantly scooped some of it up and licked the spoon and OMG it was so disgusting I wanted to vomit. But those ladies looked so happy that I had eaten it that I forced myself to have three more spoonfuls. Then I smiled and said I needed to check on my husband and got my stuff and quickly moved to another area.

I am super proud of myself for putting aside my disgust and showing these ladies that I appreciated their culture.

Lack of planning

I used to have a sign on my office that said "Lack of planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on my part". I loved that sign.

The funny thing is that people don't really plan or schedule anything here. For example, our school calendar is not set in stone. Yea...you might want to read that sentence again.

Back in October we had a holiday called Eid. On the calendar we only got two days off, but there was much speculation (and hope) that they would give us the rest of the week off. (They didn't.)

Next week we will be celebrating National Day (more about that in another post). Originally we were only given off two days, but last week we were notified that we will have another day off which will give us a 5 day break. Very exciting, but frustrating that we didn't know from the very beginning when we could have planned a mini vacation and got cheaper airfare.

Even more frustrating is our winter break. The calendar said students would have 3 weeks off, but teachers would only have 2 because we would have a week of professional development. Now there are rumors that teachers will have 3 weeks and students will have 4. It sure would be nice to know for sure! We don't know for sure about spring break either.

Many things are told to us at the last minute on a daily basis. Often times I hear an announcement in Arabic and then I'm scrambling around trying to get someone to tell me what it said. Usually it has nothing to do with me, but one time no one told me that the boys were being released at noon instead of 1. I've heard of teachers who didn't know there was a field trip until they showed up to school!

My principal explained it to me this way: in the Muslim religion, they see every day as a gift from Allah and nothing is guaranteed. So, they live for today and not for the future. There's no need to schedule things in advanced because you are not guaranteed tomorrow or next week. I can see their point, but I would much rather know way in advance that something is happening. I have really had to learn to not stress and go with the flow.

Work hard, play harder

People who come work here who are single have it MADE, especially if they don't have any financial obligations at home. Our housing is free, so other than utilities (which are dirt cheap), phone, possibly a car, and cable if you want it...they are pocketing a lot of money. I think most single people travel a lot. I would love to do that, but we have debt at home we are trying to pay off and we have 4 mouths to feed. However, we are better off than we would be in the US! Even though work is extremely difficult, I try to focus on the positives.

Luckily, gas is super cheap and Dubai, Abu Dhabi, and Al Ain are all easily day trips from one another. I am constantly looking at UAE travel books and reading my favorite magazine, Time Out, to find things to do...and the cheaper the better!

Here are some of the inexpensive things we've found to do so far:

Beaches

• Saadiyat Island beach- outside Abu Dhabi, hands down my favorite so far because it's clean, the water is clear, and the sand is soft and white; you do have to pay to get in, but it's so cheap, who cares? (25 dirhams per adult, kids free, and free parking)
• Jumeirah Beach Residence- clean, has shops near by, free, but had to find/pay for parking; supposedly there are sometimes camels on the beach, but we didn't see any; kind of far from everywhere else in Dubai, but the new tram goes there; construction around it wasn't attractive
• Kite Beach- also in Dubai, found free parking, clean, but not a big fan of the sand
• The Corniche- Abu Dhabi, found free parking, it was night time, so I can't really judge it accurately
• Al Khan Beach- in Sharjah, free parking, dirty (numerous items floating in the water as well as trash on the beach), no bathrooms nearby, nice sand

Parks

• Creekside Park (Dubai)- we walked around half of it and weren't impressed. The playgrounds aren't anything spectacular, you can't swim in the "beach" area, and the cable cars weren't working. There is a Dolphinarium and a Children's City, but we didn't go in either one. There is a cheap entry fee to get in.
• Jahli Park (Al Ain)- FREE, very big with three playgrounds (one sand and the others with rubber bottoms), bike rentals, fountains, and a two story Starbucks right beside it (major bonus points!); side note: the park could use some cleaning...lots of trash around :(
• Hili Oasis (Al Ain)- FREE, walking trails winding through date farms, easy to get lost inside!
• Green Mubazzarah (Al Ain)- FREE, lots of green areas to have picnics, camel rides, hot springs (have not been in yet, so can't really comment), playgrounds are not well maintained, there are some chalets you can pay to stay overnight in, there is a KFC, Pizza Hut, Krispy Kreme, and a local restaurant if you are hungry
• Jebel Hafeet (Al Ain)- FREE, very windy road...make sure you have plenty of gas in your tank before you go; there are several pull over areas to take pictures; the view at the top is nice; there's a hotel near the top also; please be careful because we saw a truck that had flipped over the guardrail and crashed into the side of the mountain

Tourist Attractions

• Al Ain Palace Museum (Al Ain)- FREE, very well maintained and interesting to walk around and take pictures
• Discovery Centre (Sharjah)- CHEAP, had quite a few interesting hands on activities for the kids, but some of them weren't working or needed updating
• Grand Mosque (Abu Dhabi)- FREE, very beautiful building to look at and take pictures of; make sure you are fully covered when you go (including your head if you are a woman) or you will have to borrow an abaya
• Emirates Palace (Abu Dhabi)- FREE, gorgeous hotel to walk around and photograph
• Souk Madinat (Dubai)- FREE (unless you choose to buy something) indoor souk with nice shops; I don't think we saw the whole thing, so next time I want to explore more
• Jahili Fort (Al Ain)- FREE, really fun to walk around and there is a really nice photo exhibit 

I will definitely be adding to this list as we do more things :)